If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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