Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's never too late to be topless.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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