I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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