They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
