the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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