how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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