You're so nebulous sometimes
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
