On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
