Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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