Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
