I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
