after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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