Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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