u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
