Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
well you can't waste a boner
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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