trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I believe in your delicious
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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