I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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