Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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