have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
