Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
