I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
