Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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