my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
