sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
