What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
