Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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