yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
