dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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