Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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