Define "chronic" masturbator.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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