You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think my moral compass just broke
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
