I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
