I think im going to throw up on grandma
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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