we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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