I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
