I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They are going to name an STD after you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize