Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
