Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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