I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
