Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
