College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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