oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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