I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize