just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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