my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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