So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
