the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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