roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
