that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
