I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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