My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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