he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
