Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize