Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
