man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
