I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
