I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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