this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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