I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
