Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
