Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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