those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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