I wish you could order shots online.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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