Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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