She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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