I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
