physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
