I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
