Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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