I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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