the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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