she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
