i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
