you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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